“Change is a funny thing. We never are quite sure what we are becoming… or even why. Then one day we look at ourselves and wonder who we are, and how we got that way. Only one thing about change remains constant… …it is always painful.”—Jodi Picoult’s The Tenth Circle
Dear Friend whom I’m no longer friends with anymore,
“Is someone occupying that seat?”
“May I sit beside you?”
Our first conversation.
It’s funny how it all started so awkwardly, and how it ended as equally awkward. The only difference I can see is that, like all finales, it’s pretty painful.
“I’m new here. I just transferred.”
Another one of our ‘little conversations’. Even from the start, I was always the talkative one. I never even thought that we’ll get to be close buddies; you were content with simple answers to my queries and opinions, like ‘Yes’, ‘No’, or ‘It could be’. I guess you easily get tired that saying up to five words would be such a struggle.
“You look gloomy. Are you okay?”
But you were always there. And when I say ‘always’, I really mean the word in its truest sense. You were always lending me your notes whenever I am not able to attend classes. You were always making me smile during my darkest hours. You were always singing and dancing and shopping and watching and eating and reading with me.
You were always there to listen.
Except when the guy ‘you’re in love with’ comes to the picture.
I would not go into details anymore because I know it would be such a tear-jerker to recount everything. But then, to tell you honestly, I haven’t thought about those stuff in such awhile. Even when I decided to write a letter for you, those ugly memories just seem to be a blur to me. All I thought of - and felt - was that I miss you.
I badly miss my bestfriend, to be more specific.
There. I said it already. It took more than fifty words to compose this letter, but the truth is that I just wanted to say those words of longing. And put an end to this pride-fest.
Can we go back to eating gummy worms again while sitting on the grass and drooling about Gerard Butler?
“You know how you can want something for ages, but when you get it, you’re not sure if you really want it? Like you’ve spent so much time thinking about how to get it that you forget about what it would really be like to have it?”—Shona, Sarra Manning’s Diary of a Crush
“And love is always complicated. But still humans must try to love each other, darling. We must get our hearts broken sometimes. This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.”—Felipe the Brazilian, Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love
you’re taken and happy you have at least one person you can trust fully you have at least 10 good friends you think your parents are pretty good to you you’re friendly with everyone or mostly everyone at school
total so far: 5
you get good/decent grades you’re a quick learner you mostly look forward to going to school most of your friends go to your school you don’t get in trouble a lot
total so far: 9
you have your own room you get allowance you have your own computer you have your own cell phone and/or phone line you have a wellpaying, good job that you like
total so far: 11
you have a lot of privacy you get along with your siblings you can talk to your parents about most things you’re in love with someone and happy with it you’re content with the way you look
total so far: 16
people compliment you often you believe in yourself you’re working on achieving your goals you’re happy most of the time you rarely ever cry
total so far: 20
you have your own radio/cd player/ipod/mp3 player/etc. you don’t often find yourself wanting more things you don’t wish to be someone else you have a television in your room you have your own computer in your room
total so far: 21
you hangout/try to hangout with your friends often you get out and do things a lot you know how to have fun without going somewhere you enjoy eating together with your family you’ve been on at least one date before
total so far: 25
you’ve kissed someone other than family and friends you’ve had at least 1 boyfriend/girlfriend you have/had a relationship that lasted more than 2 months you know how to make the best of it when you’re single you’re content with your love life at its current state
total so far: 30
you have a sibling you get along with really well you get to see your favorite family members often you don’t give in to peer pressure you could care less about the popular kids at school and what they say you don’t judge and/or label people a lot
total so far: 34
you think your life is pretty good you’ve never tried to kill yourself you’ve never selfharmed you’ve never been clinically depressed you have most of the things that you think will make your life complete
grand total: 38
multiply your final number by 2, and that’s the percentage of how good your life is.
“If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot. There’s no way around these two things that I’m aware of, no shortcut.”—Stephen King (via 500daysofkissingmypillow)